I was Abdus Salam

After the September 11, 2001, attacks by Al Qaida the US reacted by invading Afghanistan. Osama bin Laden escaped via Tora  Bora into Pakistan, and there he hid for many years. Meanwhile, the neocons orchestrated the major blunder in Iraq, which led to the mess we see today in the Middle East and Africa. It used to be North Africa, but nowadays the Al Qaida clones are found as far as Nigeria,  Kenya, and France. Therefore today we can say US and EU policy has failed, and Al Qaida and its clones have spread all over.

Anyhow, the Iraq war was based on false premises. At first it was the unfound “Weapons of Mass Destruction” (WMD for short). Later, when the WMD weren´t even close to being found, Bush started peddling “we liberated Iraq for democracy”. So the idea was to send several hundred thousand troops into a Muslim country (with borders drawn up by the British to have serious internal conflicts),  to fight for freedom and democracy for the Iraqi people. And this, of course, the USA was doing out of love for freedom loving Iraqis, who would turn out to be raving mad Muslim mad killers after US troops followed the neocon recipe from 2003 to 2009.

And meanwhile we saw really ugly Muslim hatred emerging in the USA (hurrah, thought the neocons). Being a confirmed atheist as far as major homo sapiens religions are concerned, I didn´t think the intense hatred being fueled by the media (like Fox News and the Liberty radio network) was the right approach. The flames of hate burned hot in chat rooms in those days, oh yeah.

I sure wish I had kept a record, because that shit was really gross. The hatred being spewed was so heavy I decided to do something about it: I became Abdus Salam.

Abdus Salam eventually becameMassoud´s 
political officer and CIA liason. Ahmed Shah 
was so famous they wrote books about him. 

Abdus Salam was me. He was  a “Muslim” chatter immune to the bullshit, the Muslim baiting, the insults, and the other crap going on in those chat rooms. And boy was Abdus a pain in the ass for the foul mouthed retards who kept on jammin´ the same islamophobic bullshit over and over and over again.

You see, Abdus Salam was a nuclear physicist, born in the Panjshir Valley in Afghanistan, who had received a work visa to teach engineering in a “prestigious US University”. 

Abdus was a real Muslim, observed all the right prayer hours, didn´t eat or drink during daylight in Ramadan, ate halal meat after dark, gave his children candy during Eid, and went to Mecca to pray, throw stones, and buy souvenirs, just like any other decent Muslim would (the rest of you don´t laugh, please, you all have your quirks).

The Panjhir Valley, NE Afghanistan, 
where Abdus Salam was born

Abdus was born in Jangalak, where his father was the main owner of the local bus line to Kabul. When the Soviets invaded he had barely become a teenager, and had been given permission by his father to join Masoud´s forces. Masoud, as some of you may know, was one of those Afghans who didn´t get along with the Soviets at all. And who later didn´t get along with the Taliban. Masoud was a Tadjik (but not from Tadjikistan, he was one of the Tadjiks from the Panjshir Valley. And Masoud was a CIA ally, although the relationship was somewhat strained because he also dealt dope on the side.

So Abdus grew up hauling ammo up the mountain. The ammo was supplied by the Chinese, unpacked, and hidden in the mountains bordering the valley. This ammo was used to attack Russian convoys traveling towards Kabul via the Salang tunnel. 

The Salang tunnel is a logistics bottleneck, its on the 
road north from Kabul towards the former Soviet Union

But Abdus turned out to be a genius, which was Allah´s wish, and his father and Masood decided to send him to the United Kingdom to live with his uncle, and study nuclear physics. And thus it came to be that Abdus graduated, and returned to Afghanistan, where he became “political officer” for Masoud´s mujahedin. 

And this is how Abdus came to meet Coffer Black, the CIA agent who used to run in and out of Jalalabad in those ugly days when the free world was working hard to undermine the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan (sort of a “fuck you have a nice day” for Vietnam).

And thus the CIA brass decided to get Abdus out of Afghanistan, and into the USA, because they thought it was possible Abdus would survive the war, and eventually work for Saddam building nuclear weapons  (this is a story I invented, in real life the CIA brass  are way too stupid to think ahead this way).  So Abdus got his gig in the USA teaching nuclear stuff to graduate students at “prestigious University”.

And Abdus Salam, the famous physicist, became the legendary chatter who used to point out logic fallacies and inconsistencies about Muslims to his unwilling US chatroom audience. After all, there he was, living in the USA, an experienced guerrilla fighter, former political officer for Massoud, the famous Lion of the Panjshir. And this he had accomplished thanks to his CIA friends, who thought it was better to keep him safe teaching foreign graduate students the basics of how to build a nuclear reactor.

That was me, Abdus Salam, the infamous Muslim chatter who hated Osama bin Laden.  Feel free to look me up with a search engine, and you´ll learn about the end of the story…

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