President Obombo Unveils Waziria´s CO2 Emissions Targets

Kumbasi -- President Patrice Obombo´s administration has reasserted its commitment to fighting climate change, submitting its plan to the U.N. to cut Waziria carbon emissions by up to 30 percent by 2030. The plan blends the formats used by Mexico, Switzerland, and China, and requires the full commitment of Waziria’s 4 million inhabitants.

Waziria´s president at one of his press conferences. 

President Obombo is increasingly isolated from the

Wazirian Senate, led by Senator Bala,  but is loved 

by his people and hopes to finish his term in 2017. 

 Later this year, negotiators from all nations will gather in Paris, to draft and sign an agreement to: 1 - fight global warming; 2 - adapt to its side effects like rising sea levels; and 3 - assist developing nations rein-in their carbon emissions without slowing the growth of their economies.

President Obombo is very keen on the third item, which can secure $17 billion US dollars, donated by the U.S. and the European Union,  to build the 50 megawatt Kuilú River Hydroelectric project,  an associated 5 megawatt wind park, widen the Kumbasi seaside highway to four lanes, and develop a new sugarcane biofuel industry in the former Lumumba National Park.

I interview the head of the Illuminati

I am increasingly bored by Washington because I don’t believe the answers lie there. We must ask the questions elsewhere. This train of thought led me to contact the Illuminati. I had expected that, once they knew I was hot on their trail, they would have me lobotomized. So I was shocked when my ex-boss, Tony Blair, contacted me and gave me the  Illuminati´s  secret  email.  

Illuminati are recognized because they carry 

wads  of paper, printed with pyramid symbols,  

on their bodies. This photo shows pyramids. 

The head of the Illuminati is called the “Illuminatus” (that´s his secret title, he goes by a couple of other names when he´s out in the open).  As it turned out, he  is a man that I had  met several times. Hell, I’ve had dinner with him when I lived in Buenos Aires. He always seemed like a very nice man. I have been around him enough to know that he’s an honest guy. He´s so normal, his pastime is to troll social media using a pseudonym.

I interviewed him because I´m worried about the planet. I know his organization controls the world, so I wanted him to tell me what the hell they are up to. The interview took place in his office within the secret Illuminati bunker office complex  located under… (sorry, I can´t write that down).

FL (that´s me): Illuminatus, I want to start by thanking you for sharing your valuable time and answering a few questions. So how are you?

ILLUMINATUS: I’m doing well. How are you?

FL: I’m very good. I want to start by asking, where is the world headed?

ILLUMINATUS:  Excellent question…excellent question.  It depends. People think our organization controls the world, but that´s not really true. For example, we only managed to place members in China about 30 years ago, and it has been a struggle. Too many Chinese for so few of us. They are incredibly corrupt.  So I can´t give you any guarantees that I’m a world emperor or anything like that. In fact, if I were going to characterize our position, we are more like dogs, trying to herd a very large herd of sheep.

Netanyahu´s Two State Solution

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu has announced his full, unconditional support for the creation of two Palestinian nations. Each independent, and fully sovereign, state would be  intended to accommodate separate Shiite and Sunni populations now living in  the Holy Land (Israel, the Occupied Palestinian territories, Gaza,  Southern Israel,  portions of Syria under Israeli occupation, and Syrian Shiites/Alawites who want to seek refuge from the Islamic State hordes). 

Netanyahu announcing his proposal to the US Congress

In a speech to a joint session of the US Congress, the Prime Minister proposed the two Palestinian states occupy most of the land now known as the State of Texas. This large state would be divided, with the border between the two Palestinian states drawn along the Brazos River. A 60 thousand Km² sector of the Texas Panhandle, with its capital in Amarillo, would be reserved for those current Texas residents refusing to become residents in either of the two Muslim states.

The Exciting Case of Juancho Valencia

I don’t have time to write a very long post because I’m scouting baseball players in Spain during Easter, and yesterday I found an exciting phenomenom: a Spanish 18 year old with a 106 mph fastball which flies in with a slight rising motion. The kid throws so hard I had to use two catchers in a 30 minute session. And to make this find even more incredible he also runs a 4.3 second 40 yard dash…he can pinch run when he’s not pitching and steal bases at will.

I know the idea of a rising fastball sounds impossible, but we took a high speed video, and it seems the kid puts a spinning motion on the ball which creates a vacuum on the ball´s upper side with one seam loop approximation, and this lifts it against the force of gravity,  

Juancho during yesterday´s  baseball tryout. Note 

his arm motion, and splayed big toe, are identical 

to  Sidd Finch´s, the 1980´s mistery phenomenom.  

For those who are interested in this effect, which I have named the “Juancho Effect”, the renormalization group analysis of the baseball´s  mass is performed with the extra initial condition 4λ=g2=(5/3)g′2 for the baseball’s quartic and SU(2)L and U(1)Y gauge coupling constants. This initial condition is introduced in the new scheme of noncommutative differential geometry, but the grand unification of the coupling constants is not realized in this scheme.