My favorite newspaper has an article
calling for us to help small Pacific islands from drowning. Being a nice guy I decided to create my own
charity fund and get donations to help
these islands stay above rising sea level (If this proves technically
challenging I plan to move their people to Australia).
Funafuti in Tuvalu, from triballink.org
To sell you the idea, here´s a quote
from The Guardian´s article by Achim Steiner, Executive Director of the United
Nations Environment Programme:
“Many of the planet’s most prized
destinations, places considered exquisite and idyllic, where nature seems
bountiful and people appear at ease, are under threat. In less than a decade, climate change-induced sea level rise could
force thousands of people to migrate from some of the world’s 52 small island
developing states (Sids).
How Sids respond to threats such as sea level rise, and the degree of
support they receive, is indicative of how we, collectively, will adapt to a
host of climate change impacts in the coming decades.
When we think of Sids, we may be tempted to imagine
small patches of paradise scattered with lightly populated fishing villages,
unfettered by the demands of modernity. In fact, almost one in every 100 of us
is from a small island developing state.
Sids boast a diversity of cultures, natural resources, biodiversity, and
indigenous knowledge
that makes them mainstays of our planetary ecosystem. From the multi-billion
dollar economy of Singapore, to Papua New Guinea...”
Hell, reading that article is really
heart breaking. The average worldwide
sea level rise is less than 3 millimeters per year (0.12 inches per year in
American)...
NOAA Graph showing average sea level
rise
However, as seen in this map there
is a region around Papua New Guinea where sea level is rising a lot faster:
NOAA Map showing sea level rise,
notice the
nasty looking red area around Papua New Guinea
When you consider donating to my
Fund remember this name: Carteret (Han) Island. This island is inside the red area in the NOAA map. It will likely
provide the first sea level rise refugees in the 21st Century. Here
a bit of information about the island for you to read before you donate:
“The (Carteret) islands were named after the
British navigator Philip Carteret who discovered them in
1767. In 1896 a Samoan-American woman, known locally as ‘Queen’ Emma Coe,
bought the island for four axes and 4.5 kg of tobacco. Under Imperial German
protection, she had all the trees chopped down and replaced with coconuts, and
she imported Papua New Guineans from New Ireland to work the plantations. As of 2005 about one thousand people
live on the islands. Han is the most significant island with partial (but
rapidly dying due to saltwater introgression) tree cover, the others being
small islets in the lagoon.”
This island is a really good example
of what happened in the past, when irresponsible individuals like Queen Emma
Coe could go settle uninhabitated islands without filing an Environmental
Impact Statement. Now its up to you and me to help those poor transplanted
islanders get transplanted back to New Ireland in relative comfort.
I know you, my readers, are starting
to think either I flipped or this is a con. No sir, this is for real. I have
researched the whole drowning island topic. I even read a book using 675
concatenated Google searches, and now I´m an expert in Coastal Environments and
Global Climate Change. To prove it, let me show you some of what I have learned
:
Text from Masselink and Gehrels´s
“Coastal
Environments and Global Change”,
page 403.
This information shows we got a problem. However, not all islands suffer from drowning, and quite a few may not
suffer from any drowning at all. But these Carteret Han Islanders are the real
deal. We can´t blame them for moving to that island from New Ireland because
Queen Emma used their ignorance of climate change to make them work in her
coconut plantation.
This save the environment business
can be tough. I´ll have to go toe to toe with outfits like Steiner´s UNEP, Save the Sids, and the
Sierra Club.
To strengthen my competitive position I´ve decided to visit Greenpeace´s Corporate
Headquarters incognito to steal their methods. This will help me do an outstanding job with my Fund.
The initial idea is to set up subsidiaries in every rich nation, funnel
donations to a financial center in the Cayman Islands, but run everything from
Spain. But I´m sure this will need some fine tuning. As soon as I got it figured
out I´ll start putting up Google adds asking you to sign a petition to save
Carteret Islanders, please donate a lot.
Reference
NOAA Sea Level Rise Page
Global Greenhouse Article about
Carteret
The Guardian article where I got
this wonderful Idea
Forbes how to raise money for your
charity
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